Avoiding the End.

Romance, love & relationships. It’s a beautiful rush of emotions that intoxicates your mind, body and heart. Drunk on the thought of feeling wanted, needed or desired.

Similar to many, this concept of being somebody’s partner has overshadowed the idea of being someone in yourself. Avoiding the end of a relationship can be worse than the actual breakup itself. Relationships can break down for a range of reasons, understanding that there doesn’t need to be a reason is very important. We are human, we make mistakes, fall out of love and just grow apart. It may shock you, but there are such things as ‘healthy breakups’. Foreign to many…. but they do exist. I myself, have never had the honour of this mystical concept of a healthy ending, but I swear they do happen!

The way relationships end is completely dependent on the players in the game, of love. Regardless of the previous emotions felt in the partnership, everyone’s coping methods are different.

I like to think, the departure of someone may need the arrival of another.

Caring for yourself during a relationship is crucial. Some of you may sigh “obviously”, however, many rely on that morning text, the late night calls and goodnight messages to feel safe and secure. There was a stage in my life where I would be miserable until I had some sort of contact with my previous partner. In hindsight, this was a representation of my dependency to find happiness. I waited for a message to depict my mood for the day (how sad). Establishing your foundations of happiness through friends, getting out and doing hobbies or keeping busy with work, is much more important than a faceless text.

How to recognise when the end is creeping over your shoulder?

Happiness. That’s what it comes down to. If you feel unhappy in the comfort of your partner, you need to take time and recognise if these feelings are stemming from their actions or your own. Allocating time to reflect on the people you are, the role you both are playing and the future you may have together. In doing this, you allow yourself to take responsibility and you become accountable for the next chapter of your life. Choosing to stay in an unhappy relationship is lessening the self-value you deserve and the only person who is hurting you, is you.

Things to consider if you think you might want to leave your relationship:

Are we both supporting each other’s dreams?

Am I the best version of myself when I am with my partner?

Where do I see myself in five years? Are they in this future?

Love is a cherishable emotion. Don’t be the reason you feel any less.